Monday, 15 April 2013


I did an online test to see if I still had depression.  I have weaned myself off Prozac over the last few months and am at sixes and sevens as to my condition. Sluggish is a good description, so I did the test. This is what I got:-

Major Depression: High
Dysthymia: Very High
Bipolar Disorder: Extremely High
Cyclothymia: High
Seasonal Affective Disorder: Slight-Moderate

I don't know what Dysthymia or Cyclothymia are so I guess I'll look them up.

As all of us with mental health issues know, there is no help for us from the NHS. Mental health units have been closing all over, so what to do?  Well, I have studied psychology, mostly child psychology, so I have a grounding - I'm gonna have to help myself.  

Apathy is my main enemy and one I have recently started to take on. I want to do things but have a problem ACTUALLY doing them. "I'll do that in a minute," is a constant refrain in my mind; of course that 'minute' seldom comes.  So I've started telling myself sternly to "DO IT NOW!" And I'm trying to make myself complete one task at a time., otherwise I have lots of half finished tasks on my hands, which leads to frustration and more apathy. 

Today my outdoor task is to go to the loan shop and borrow some cash, get some shopping and put £30 in bank to cover outgoings. I'm hoping the DWP sort my money out by next week or I'm up the creek without a paddle, in a sinking boat with only a colander to bail me out... 

However, I'll worry about that next week if I have to. I am not allowing myself to worry about things I can't do anything about. For now I have to print a bank statement and go get some cash.

Guess I'd better DO IT NOW!!!


Tuesday, 9 April 2013


I decided a couple of months ago to give up Prozac. I'd had some blood tests and although I was clear of all the nasties, there appeared to be a question on anaemia. But I have a good diet, I thought, why would I be anaemic? I decided to do some research.

I went through all the various things that could cause anaemia. I found out that Prozac, or Fluoxetine, can cause the lining and walls of the intestines to become thin. I sometimes take ant-inflammatories which irritate me too. Together this could cause bleeding and, hence, anaemia. I decided to give up the Prozac. For a month I cut down from two to one 500mg capsules per day, Then I cut to one every two days, then every three, then stopped.

I didn't have any problems with withdrawal, except for sweats. I still get the odd one. I found myself very tired after a couple of weeks without the Prozac, and my output and concentration were down, even for me. I couldn't understand why. My PTSD meant I had now forgotten all about the Prozac. But I was worried about the anaemia. I drank stout for the iron and had red wine instead of white, ate lots of garlic. I stopped taking the anti-inflammatories and took codeine instead. But without the Prozac in my bloodstream the codeine did not make me speed, as it used to, it made me more tired. 

I have had four appointments with my doctor over the last six weeks, none of which I have managed to attend as yet. So I have done all of this without medical supervision. I guess I'm rather pleased with myself.

Ok, so I still have a lot of problems, but I feel more alive too, rather than one step removed from life.

I think I can do this life thing at last, do it myself. This makes me happy.