DO IT NOW!!!

I did an online test to see if I still had depression.  I have weaned myself off Prozac over the last few months and am at sixes and sevens as to my condition. Sluggish is a good description, so I did the test. This is what I got:-

Major Depression: High

Dysthymia: Very High

Bipolar Disorder: Extremely High

Cyclothymia: High

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Slight-Moderate

I don't know what Dysthymia or Cyclothymia are so I guess I'll look them up.

As all of us with mental health issues know, there is no help for us from the NHS. Mental health units have been closing all over, so what to do?  Well, I have studied psychology, mostly child psychology, so I have a grounding - I'm gonna have to help myself.  

Apathy is my main enemy and one I have recently started to take on. I want to do things but have a problem ACTUALLY doing them. "I'll do that in a minute," is a constant refrain in my mind; of course that 'minute' seldom comes.  So I've started telling myself sternly to "DO IT NOW!" And I'm trying to make myself complete one task at a time., otherwise I have lots of half finished tasks on my hands, which leads to frustration and more apathy. 

Today my outdoor task is to go to the loan shop and borrow some cash, get some shopping and put £30 in bank to cover outgoings. I'm hoping the DWP sort my money out by next week or I'm up the creek without a paddle, in a sinking boat with only a colander to bail me out... 

However, I'll worry about that next week if I have to. I am not allowing myself to worry about things I can't do anything about. For now I have to print a bank statement and go get some cash.

Guess I'd better DO IT NOW!!!

:)

GONE FERAL by C.A. JONES

I suppose Dean and could be said to have 'gone feral' in a lot of ways. The last eleven or twelve years have taught me just how thin a veneer our 'civilisation' is. Now I never sit with my back to a window or door, I wear Doc Martins so I can always run. I carry everything important in pockets, bags may have to be dumped. 


And though it only happened a couple of times it could happen to anyone at any time. What do people do about this state of affairs? Do they acknowledge it? Do people take precautions? No. They act like herds of Wildebeest - every so often one of them gets picked off, and after a slight feeling of disturbance and fear, everyone goes right back to grazing. 


Women go out, late at night wearing ridiculously high heels. If someone attacks them how are they going to get away? If I go out at night, I take Dean and hold my bunch of keys in my fist with the longest one pointing out through my fingers, to stab any would-be attackers in the eye with. and to strengthen my punch. I wear Doc Martins boots, at least to and from the venue or restaurant, put the heels on when you get there. 


Of course, I am a member of the underclass, being on Incapacity Benefit, so the police are of no use to me. In fact, quite the opposite, as I found more than once. Corrupt or incompetent is the default setting for the filth.


What I learned is that you are ON YOUR OWN!!!